Cancer

Doctor handed over the report to them. Faking a professional smile he said "Don't worry... its 85 to 90% curable, please decide soon, so that the treatment can be started immediately, its just stage-2" his eyes were hopeful. They left his room silently. 

He was unable to drive, but she was all calm, looking somewhere but her pupils focused on NOTHING, or may be she was just looking inside herself. He turned the car to the silent lane and stopped under a big tree, shadowing them all-over, "D..on..t" his voice trembled terribly, he paused, cleared his throat and tried again... "Don't worry, we'll see the best Oncologist and you'll be perfectly fine, in-shaa-Allah!"

"No!" Hannah said firmly "and you know that."

Something broke inside him he was afraid of this... somehow.

"You know I've always wanted to get rid of this life, Im glad that I don't have to do much for it-NOW" her voice had no tone, no pain, no remorse, no sadness rather her eyes were sparkling with emotions, contentment may be? As she has finally found, what she was looking for, since long. 

"Plus I don't want to be a burden on you and your finances, save the money for future". "Im your past!" She said after a pause.

"No!" He was about to say something but she cut him short.

"Don't worry I'll make it easy for us"

"But kids"

"They are yours..." she mocked.

He was hopeless, he loved her, she also loved him as she said so, but she didn't love her life, and he knew that.

"One thing, don't share with anyone, neither mine nor your family, I don't want to bother anyone, plus I don't want their fake sympathies" Nauman nodded helplessly.

Time was skipping from their hands. All day she was busy with home and kids, no change in the routine. Only in the evening she started a new chore of packing her belongings and making separate bundles. Tagging them accordingly and arranging them in her cupboard. Nauman had no courage to inquire about it.

At nights she composed her aching body into prayer. Sometimes she turned and tossed on the praying mat with pain, holding back her cries, but tears rolling down her cheeks, nose wet. After a while she rose in triumph as a gallant horse.

He can't take it anymore, he can't let it happen. Its suicide and he can't be part of it anymore as he truly loved her- yes he did. He can't let her go.

He was in a fix, whom to ask for help to make her realise her foolishness. To make her revert her decision of harming herself and her family. He prayed to God... and one day he got an answer, then he planned accordingly.

The day went as the daily routine. In the evening he set the dining table with festive food and the room was also decorated. Kids started dancing and playing with joy. Singing and cheerful more than ever. "Why?" She inquired. "Because I want to celebrate every moment with you, always, I have all the right..." his eyes were firm. The camera was set on timer and the family sat in a pose. He kissed her cheeks at the last blink of the flash light, the moment froze forever with a click of the camera. She was astonished.

The ten years old was not that cheerful that day. He seemed upset, tears flickering in his eyes, he came closer to her, "don't go mama we can't live without you, I can't live..." he started sobbing. She hugged him tight, her eyes shocked as she was just awaken from a dream.

"No, no, my baby I won't go anywhere... I can't"

The younger two who couldn't make anything out of the situation, but watching elders cry started crying themselves, ran to them and hugged them tightly. They all attached to her as she was the pivotal point - the source of energy!

"Please!" Nauman pleaded

"I promise..." she cried, and the family lived eternity of joy and hope in that moment.

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#Hudanama prays for all Cancer patients and their families, may Lord of seven heavens bless you with health, life, hope and strength.

Originally written on 12 June 2017.